Overcoming Quick-Fix Anxiety (Principles and Practices for the Spiritual Life, Part 2c)
Shortcuts in the spiritual life tend to have a detrimental payoff in the long run. Foundations laid with anxiety and haste become the bane of feigned maturity built on an insecure base of imminent collapse. Why do people feel the need to so quickly “build up the tower,” or at least give such an impression, at the expense of a true steady, secure and firm growth? I surmise that at least one answer lies in the seduction of image and its lucrative rewards. In our present cultural climate, image is everything. Most people will not take the time to get to know you beyond the image you can immediately project. Therefore, in terms of our social standing, the image is what counts and the image is what we get rewarded for. If I can control my image, I can control what people perceive of me and have a better chance at being liked and accepted. It is not different in many church settings. If I can project the image of being spiritual, being holy, having it together, having little or no personal problems, etc. I will find approval from peers and leaders. Admitting that my foundations are more shaky than one might immediately suspect puts all this hard-earned acceptance at risk. If they find out where I really struggle, if they find out what’s really going on, they will not like me, and I will be alone. So the natural response is pointed anxiety to fix, or rather, fix the appearance of having any problems, and to do such quickly. There is no time for this because social acceptance (of the projected image at least) is needed immediately. So a “quick-fix,” whether real or imaginary (who really cares since the image is what matters), is impetuously sought.
There is another kind of “quick-fix” anxiety, however. This disquietude does not arise from a compulsive need for people to accept our self-constructed image, but rather relates to the only two people who have unrestricted access beyond the facade: God and yourself. Regardless of how you shape the external image, you know your true status. You know what you are really like. And of course God does too. And his standards are extreme. Nothing is hidden from the eyes of him to whom all must give account. It is hard to escape the sinking, and indeed exasperating feeling that we are not good enough, either for God or ourselves. Or perhaps we utterly despise who we are, for one reason or another, for lacking certain desired qualities, for struggling in certain ways, or simply for not being perfect. The response to real problems in our person is very similar to the response to a defective image – an anxious compulsion to fix the problems quickly. We run from place to place looking for the prayer, service, teaching, altar call, principle, relationship, etc. that will magically resolve our problem.
Perhaps it never occurs to us that God’s perspective is entirely different. We despise ourselves and use the force of that self-hatred to propel us into “quick-fixes” and shaky foundations that will ultimately cost us. Yet this self-deprecation only breeds more of the same, never does and never will give way to a healthy self-acceptance in the love of God. The beautiful and gracious God is the one of whom it is said, “a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise (Ps. 51:17).” “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out (Isa. 42:3).” In light of our own profound need, brokenness, unsettledness, and immaturity, God is not with anxiety or anger fretting until we get our act together. He is not scowling waiting for us to “get fixed,” despising us until we arrive at an unattainable standard of perfection. We want to be “fixed” (and soon) in order to gain acceptance, whether from peers, leaders, God or ourself. God wants to walk with us, to know us, to be known by us, to love us – right where we are. And in the journey of walking with him in love, we will find ourselves transformed, not in order to be accepted, but transformed precisely by his extravagant acceptance, unremitting love and indescribable tenderness. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
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